Mr. Jaggers came to Miss Havisham's to dine that night. Miss Havisham did not join us, and Mr. Jaggers explained that she never let anyone see her eat or drink.
"She wanders during the night. That's when she gets something to eat."
Later we played cards with Estella and Miss Havisham, and it was agreed that I would meet Estella's coach when she came to London. That night Mr. Jaggers and I stayed at the Blue Boar Inn. I lay awake, thinking of Estella and wondering when she would begin to be interested in me.
The next morning at breakfast I resolved to tell Mr. Jaggers that I didn't think Orlick was the right sort of person to fill a position of trust at Miss Havisham's.
"Very good, Pip," said Mr. Jaggers when I had finished. "I'll go back today and pay him off."
I was alarmed that Mr. Jaggers was going to dismiss Orlick so quickly. I even hinted that Orlick might be difficult to deal with.
"Oh no, he won't," said Mr. Jaggers. "I'd like to see him argue with me."
Later that day we traveled back to London together. As soon as I arrived in the city, I sent a codfish and a barrel of oysters to Joe to apologize for not visiting him. At Barnard's Inn I found Herbert having a cold supper. He was delighted to welcome me back, and after eating we sat in front of the fire and talked.
"Herbert, I have something to tell you. I love—adore—Estella."
Instead of being surprised, Herbert said, "Of course I know that."
"How do you know that? I never told you."
"You didn't have to tell me. You've adored her ever since I've known you. But now I must say something disagreeable to you. Think of how she was brought up. Think of Miss Havisham. Think of how Estella is herself. This may all lead to misery. Can't you forget her?"
"No! It's impossible!"
"You can't try?"
"No!"
An uncomfortable silence fell between us. Herbert got up and busied himself with tidying the room, putting chairs back where they belonged and straightening up books. Finally he came back and sat down near the fire. "Now I must tell you something. I am engaged, but it's a secret."
"May I ask her name?"
"Clara."
"Does she live in London?"
"Yes, she lives with her father, an invalid. I've never seen him because he keeps to his room upstairs, but I've heard him constantly. He roars and he pounds on the floor with some frightful instrument."
"Don't you expect to see him?"
"Oh yes, I constantly expect to see him. I never hear him without expecting him to come tumbling through the ceiling." Herbert laughed at his joke.
He told me that the moment he made enough money, it was his intention to marry this young lady. As we stared at the fire, I thought about how difficult it was to make enough money.
The days passed, and one day when I was busy with my studies, I received a note in the mail. Although I had never seen the handwriting before, I knew it was from Estella. She said that she would be arriving in London the day after tomorrow and asked me to meet her coach!
If there had been time, I probably would have ordered several suits of clothes for this occasion. But since there wasn't time, I had to be content with what I owned. My appetite vanished and I knew no peace until the day arrived.
In her traveling dress, Estella seemed more beautiful than ever. Her manner was more charming toward me than ever before. We stood near the inn while she pointed out her luggage to me. When it was all collected, I remembered that I knew nothing of her destination.
"I'm traveling ten miles to Richmond," she said. "I am to have a carriage and you are to take me. This is my purse and you are to pay my expenses from it."
I hesitated to take her purse.
"Oh, you must take the purse!" she insisted. "We have no choice, you and I, but to obey our instructions. We are not free to follow our own minds."
As she looked at me, I hoped there was some hidden meaning in her words.
"A carriage will have to be sent for, Estella. Will you stay here a little?"
"Yes, I am to stay here, and I am to drink some tea, and you are to take care of me."
She put her arm through mine as if that were part of the instructions too, and we went into the inn for some tea.
"Where are you going in Richmond?" I asked when we were seated at a table.
"I'm going to live at great expense with a lady who has the power to take me around and introduce me to a lot of people. How do you enjoy living with Mr. Pocket?"
"I live quite pleasantly there, at least . . . ," I hesitated, ". . . at least as pleasantly as I could anywhere away from you."
"You silly boy," Estella said quite calmly. "How can you talk such nonsense?"
And then she went on talking about Matthew Pocket and his family. Apparently there were others in the family who regularly gave Miss Havisham bad reports about me. But Estella said I should not worry because nothing could make Miss Havisham dislike me. Estella, in fact, was entertained by the efforts of these relatives to discredit me.
She playfully gave me her hand and I put it to my lips. "You ridiculous boy," she said. "You should have asked before you touched my hand."
"May I kiss your cheek?"
"If you like."
I leaned down, and her calm face was like a statue's.
"Now," said Estella, gliding away the instant I kissed her cheek, "you are to take me to Richmond."
We got into a carriage and began our journey. When we passed through Hammersmith, I showed her where Mr. Matthew Pocket lived. I said it wasn't far from Richmond and that I hoped I would see her sometimes.
"Oh yes, you are to come when you think it's proper. You have already been mentioned to the family."
"I'm surprised that Miss Havisham could part with you again so soon after your return from France."
"It's part of her plans for me, Pip," said Estella, sighing as if she were tired. "I am to write to her constantly and see her regularly and report on how I'm doing."
That was the first time she'd ever called me by my name, and I treasured it.
We arrived at the house in Richmond all too soon. Two maids came fluttering out to receive Estella. The doorway soon absorbed her boxes. She gave me her hand and a smile and was then absorbed into the house too. After the door shut, I continued to stand there, looking at the house. I thought about how happy I would be if I lived there with her. Yet I knew I was never happy with her. I was always miserable.